i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
