come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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