Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
