fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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