ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
