I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize