drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
