I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
