He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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