Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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