just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
