i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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