Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Holy sore nipples Batman
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize