i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Terrible idea I love it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
