I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
