I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
