I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
