I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
