whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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