You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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