So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
