Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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