i barfeds in our rink
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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