I love having hate sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
