So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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