i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
