It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
