she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
