Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Nicole vs. Life
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
