Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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