I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
