And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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