y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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