Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
