he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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