): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize