I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
