I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
