did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
