He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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