He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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