So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
