So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
