I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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