Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You were trust falling into bushes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
