he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
