Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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