two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You can't special order awesome
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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