my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
