you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize