In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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