the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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