i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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