..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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