Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
