Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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