This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also, beer. Big fan.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
