Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
