She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
