the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
