the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
