I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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