There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
