I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
