i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize